Downcast

Carlos fell in love with a woman who is politically his complete opposite. She fits into the predominant stance in her workplace. Or perhaps the workplace demands that stance. Cause or effect? No one knows. On the other hand, they are alike: brilliant, hardworking, used to giving orders and being obeyed. And experienced.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day 2024. He tells me that today he woke up around 8 a.m.; his partner had already left for work, carefully so as not to wake him. He was alone, sitting on the apartment’s throne, happy with the previous night, cell phone in hand, taking the opportunity to check the news, read and send messages, etc.

In one of those posts, he copied his partner, who, noticing the movement, called to “scold” him: _the refrigerator exploded with a 2-liter bottle of sparkling water in the freezer and you didn’t even notice… irresponsible! The house falling apart and you sleeping!

He tried to explain that bottles with water tend to explode when frozen because water expands and the gas intensifies the effect. He got another scolding: _are you calling me ignorant? Typical of you!

He felt guilty. Useless. Clumsy. After all, he had seen the bottle, already frozen (he didn’t realize it was sparkling water), and had taken no action. And she had been kind by not waking him, so why was she now furious? Hard to understand the opposite sex...

He realized that he has been conditioning himself to avoid doing things and, at the same time, to avoid doing nothing — an impossible situation, besides conflicting with his proactive personality. But lately, according to the “inspection,” everything he does is poorly done, wrong, or outside the proper “timing.”

Realizing this, he felt upset, sad, unwilling to do anything. He ended the day at the bar, with whiskey, cigarettes, and friends. Barroom philosophy is a master’s class in psychology. That is where men conclude that women are very much alike, for everyone’s consolation. Not all, not so alike, but there is some common link. In short, for the comfort of the men gathered there, they concluded that it is not a personal problem!

Back and forth in conversation, they discover that trying to please one’s partner does not help and is not a good path. It is not good because the guy tries to restrain himself and submit to a profile that is not his. While he does this unconsciously, things go on. If he catches himself acting that way, that’s the problem! That was what our friend brought to us and left us all in silence, each thinking about his own “karmas,” his own crosses.

He said he spent the day withdrawn, thinking that, with age, these things increasingly escape control. Is it still worth being alive? If he dies soon, he will avoid annoyance. Better to leave at one’s peak. It is the inevitable conclusion of lucidity.

With my tendency toward dark humor, I kept thinking about that little joke about the balloon approaching land and the balloonist asking a passerby:

_Where am I? and the passerby replies:

_around 23º00’36.32” South and 43º17’49.18” West, and the balloonist says:

_you must be single, right? and the passerby:

_I am, how did you guess? and the balloonist:

_simple, you gave me good and precise information that is of no use to me

and the passerby replies:

_and you must be married, right? and the balloonist:

_yes, how did you guess? and the passerby:

_simple, I see that you are downcast, sad, lost, disoriented, you don’t know what to do or where to go, but for some reason now I feel guilty about it.

I did not like seeing my friend, normally so lucid and cheerful, feeling sad, apathetic and without desire, losing interest.

Corollary: sometimes it is better to die for the woman you love than to live with the woman you love!

Miguel Fernández y Fernández, engineer, columnist and writer, member of the National Academy of Engineering and of the Engineering Institute written on 13jun2024, R2026fev Re, 3.614 characters