Four wheels

I did not have the courage to do this “report” for “A Forja” without first going to the little church beside the school to attend mass and commend my soul to God and then ask Prof. Oswaldo for a “ride” in his Chevrolet 64 (1864), attached photo.

Once the objectives were explained, Oswaldo himself helped reconstruct the history of the jalopy: of North American origin. It is not known for certain how it arrived in Brazil, but it must have been around 1910. It had a shape different from the current one.

It probably had its days of glory, but, with the passing of time, unable to withstand the complex caused by comparison with the more modern lines after the First World War, the vehicle smashed itself against a gas-lighting pole in old Rio.

Its first owner then sold it “in the state of half-old iron” to its second owner, who, with enormous patience, joining the leftover pieces to a new body, gave it an appearance similar to the current one: a mixture of an old West stagecoach, given its origin, and a “litter”, a famous means of transport from the time of slavery. After much driving around, this second owner of the vehicle announced in the newspaper, in 1962, that he was selling a car for the scrapyard.

Very stealthily, Prof. Oswaldo presented himself, saying he was a scrapyard agent, wanting to see the article (he did not have the courage to tell the man it was for his own use). After advances and retreats in the negotiations, it was decided that the car would be sold for the astronomical sum, according to our professor, of 5 contos de réis, 500$000 in cash, and the rest in gentle monthly installments, in which the buyer would always pay half of what he still owed, by which the buyer deceived the seller, according to a mathematics class in which the same professor had already won another such amount from a student.

Currently, it is a dark-green car which, according to the owner, has an “enormous will to serve others” (the next mechanic). Recently, given the professor’s refusal to sell the car to “Columbia Pictures”, the film series “The Untouchables” had to be suspended, because that company’s stock of latest-model cars had run out.

Impressions while traveling

When we headed for the car, Prof. Oswaldo, Prof. Martinho (frequent passenger) and I, the first question that came to my mind was: — Does it run?

Between one smile and another, the professor began opening the door, lowering the window by pushing it down, because in the four windows the cranks only raised said window, and getting into the car. Meanwhile I was observing the details of the external structure of the Chevrolata: front wheels visibly divergent. Tires: three practically at the end, and one in good condition. Exhaust pipe: a piece of ordinary pipe; bumpers only if for electric shock, because it is tied to the rest of the collection of tin by string (which is an insulator)... I thought it best to get in right away, before I lost courage. I got in!

I was directed to the back seat, with no doors (the car has two doors), so I could not even go back. Prof. Oswaldo said: — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, zoooooooiin, it did not start. Again: zonhonhoooin. Nothing. Prof. Martinho gets out to push. I also offer, and I keep thinking what a mess I had gotten myself into. We pushed, and to everyone’s happiness the car started. We got in again.

I describe what the inside of the car is like: the steering wheel consists of a thing that looks like an ex-bicycle wheel. The gearshift lever is a twisted steel bar that emerges from a hole in the car floor, through which one can see the street. The accelerator is a piece of board and the clutch, incredible as it may seem, is actually a pedal. The foot brake does not work well, the thing stops by arm power, on a lever on the right side of the car, and the one who has to operate it is the passenger, because the driver cannot reach it. It was comic and sad at the same time, Prof. Oswaldo driving and Prof. Martinho braking. At first, I did not believe what I saw. One thing cannot be complained about: the car is airy.

Suddenly, I hit my head on the roof; it is that the car’s suspension is so good that, when it passes over a hole, instead of cushioning the jump, it increases it even more. On the roof, three holes could be seen in the lining — “The 1st,” the professor told me, “already came with the car; the second was my son’s head, in a hole on Avenida Brasil; and the third was a crate I was transporting, and in one of those jumps...

A strange noise of loose tin could be heard constantly when the car moved. It is that the body is nailed to the chassis by three or four screws, but the clearances are very large, said Oswaldo. It is worth highlighting the enthusiasm with which the professor overtakes cars stopped at the curb.

_ What is the maximum speed?

_ 70 km/h downhill.

_ Can we see what it’s like?

_ Leave that for when you two are alone, okay? (said Martinho).

_ I can only go at 30 / 40 km/h.

_ Why, if it can do more?

_ The steering is making a very strong “shimmy”, but it is good because it winds the watch. It is automatic.

We stopped at a gas station.

_ Fill the tank.

_ We do not have firewood at the moment. Silence.

_ Put gasoline then, 30 liters, and do it well, because I am spending these holidays in Cabo Frio and I leave today at 5 o’clock.

_ Have you already bought the tickets? Another silence.

_ Calibrate the tires. 20 “pounds” each.

_ Do you know how much this one has? — 2 “pounds”.

_ Mathematically, it is missing 18.

The professor gives a tip, but the man gives it back. We continue.

We continue the route. It is already 1 p.m. and we left the school more than 15 minutes ago, little traffic (a miracle, or else, since we were going so slowly, the traffic jam was behind us...), but we are still in the middle of Rua Voluntários, that is, we have gone about 3 km.

_ Professor, can’t you go faster?

_ Do not worry, I guarantee that within 5 minutes we will be five minutes from here. I myself did the calculations last week. Do not even try because we have not reached that point of the subject yet. A similar problem appeared on the ITA entrance exam. No one got it right. It involves logarithms, combinatorial analysis, Cartesian coordinates, and in the end it will lead to a fourth-degree equation.

At every “cut-off” by a “lotação”, or at every curse from another driver, or even when the bad driving was ours (so as not to leave all the responsibility with the “driver”, I use the plural), I kept getting into a worse state of nerves.

Finally I could not contain myself anymore. There were still some 5 blocks left, with heavier traffic, to my house, when I decided to tell the professor that I lived right there, and that I would be grateful if I could get out. Professor Oswaldo disengages the gear, Prof. Martinho brakes and the car stops against the curb. I get out with a slight trauma to the left corner of my mouth, tremors spread throughout my body and, with a trembling voice, I wish them a good trip, but with an enormous doubt inside me.

Miguel Fernández y Fernández, engineer, chronicler and columnist, member of the National Academy of Engineering and of the Institute of Engineering, published in A Forja, May 1964 # R2026 Jan, 8,592 characters.