Someone once said that the best partner is the one we meet at a glance because we haven't had time to notice their flaws. Now, imagine a person you only know because others have told you about them. This person is perfect—you've never seen them, nor will you ever, you can only idealize them. Therefore, they are the ideal person.
Like the Lauras.
Laura is not a common name, nor is it rare. So, whenever a Laura appeared, we would remember the topic.
All because, in 1961, during the third year of high school at the Colégio de Aplicação, five classmates switched schools and ended up in the same classroom, in the same group, where, among the five who had left, there was a Laura. We never got to meet her, but she was said to be a beautiful, charming girl, with all the virtues, and at least two of the remaining students—Milazzo and Moacir—were said to be in love with her. And this group had many other beautiful girls.
Infatuations at 15 are a serious problem because, usually, the other person either doesn't notice or pretends not to notice. In this case, when the person disappears and becomes a fictional character, what do you do? Learn to live with frustrations without being frustrated, the optimistic-realists would say, those who don't let themselves fall into depression.
So, the remaining group (as teenagers are cruel) would keep provoking Milton's and Moacir's feelings, saying that she had been seen talking to a guy, that they had found her at a party, that she was getting more beautiful every day, etc. They said she was now at a new school in Largo do Machado. And so, in daydreams, they would look for her, follow her, just like Milazzo was seen by Sérgio, who told me, hanging around the door of that school at the end of class.
The fact is, we started to evaluate the other women we got to know over the years with this unreachable standard of Laura. She became the benchmark of the ideal, the unattainable. As they say today, she became a "meme." Once, Ademar was seen with a beautiful girlfriend, and someone immediately commented: _ Better than Laura? And where could Laura be now?
It became a problem in our lives. Whenever we met someone, the question lingered: How do they compare to Laura? And what if Laura shows up? But Laura was unreachable: beautiful, elegant, kind, intelligent, cultured, proactive, lazy, rich, skilled, affectionate, agile, languid, strong, fragile, blonde and brunette, tall and short, slim and curvy.
Even when a son or grandchild would show up with a partner, we would wonder: Is she better than Laura? And for our female classmates, who would be the Lauro? And what happened to Milazzo? Did they "hook up"? Did they date? Didn’t they? Did they meet again? Are they married now? To each other? Do they have kids? Did they never see each other again? This is what Kundera explores in his excellent book The Unbearable Lightness of Being. We are all like this—Laurels, Milazzos, Moacirs. How terrible! And how wonderful!
I remembered this because, recently, I joined a professional meeting, and there was a Laura who, apparently, met all the requirements to be a daughter or even a granddaughter of that Laura. I almost asked her name, her mother's and grandmother's names, and where they had studied. But I held myself back. After all, I only saw her at a glance.
Miguel Fernández y Fernández
Engineer and columnist 3,137 characters
Comments